يَوۡمَ يَفِرُّ ٱلۡمَرۡءُ مِنۡ أَخِيهِ
وَأُمِّهِۦ وَأَبِيهِ
وَصَـٰحِبَتِهِۦ وَبَنِيهِ
On that Day a man will flee from his brother, from his mother and his father, from his spouse and his children.
يَوۡمَ يَفِرُّ
On the Day [he] will flee
The word فِرَار specifically means running with terror, like an animal fleeing a predator.
If a dog is chasing you, you do firar. If someone is running from the police, they’re doing firar. This isn’t casual running; it’s panicked escape.
ٱلۡمَرۡءُ
a man
ٱلۡمَرۡءُ, a person, but more specifically, someone with مُرُوءَة, meaning chivalry, dignity, nobility, someone who cares for others.
This is the person who helps the elderly cross the street, who looks out for the vulnerable. That’s a mar’.
مِنۡ أَخِيهِ
from his brother
In Arabic, أَخ doesn’t only mean sibling; it also means friend, companion, partner.
So this person of dignity and care will run in terror from his own sibling or closest friend. Why? Why would you be terrified of your brother or friend?
Perhaps because you wronged them, or perhaps because they genuinely like you and say, “Hey, you’re my friend, can I have some of your good deeds?”
And you respond, “Get away from me!”
وَأُمِّهِۦ وَأَبِيهِ
his mother and his father
For the same reason, a person will also flee from his mother and father. Perhaps he didn’t treat his mother well; now she says to him, “Come here, give me your good deeds! Remember how you yelled at me? Now I need those good deeds. I know you went on Hajj, but those good deeds are mine now.” Or even if he treated them well, they will still ask for his good deeds, and he will think to himself, “No, don’t take what I have!” Either way, a person flees from his own mother and father.
وَصَـٰحِبَتِهِۦ وَبَنِيهِ
his spouse and his children
Allah ﷻ did not use زَوۡجَتِهِ (his spouse) or اِمۡرَأَتِهِ (his wife) here; instead He said صَاحِبَتِهِ. Sahibah refers to that life companion to whom a person is bound at heart, whom he always wants beside him, whom he misses when apart, to whom he keeps sending messages saying, “I miss you, I miss your smile, I can’t wait to see you again.”
The one with whom he shares such a deep bond of companionship and love, his sahibah: on the Day of Judgment, a person will flee even from her.
وَبَنِيهِ
his children
Notice the pairings here: first the friend, then two people together: mother and father. Then two more: spouse and children.
There are three basic circles in a person’s life: you are either with your friends, or with your parents, or with your spouse and children. When you aren’t with your friends, you’re in one of the other two circles. When the relationship with your parents starts to weigh on you, you go to your spouse and children. When your spouse and children overwhelm you, you take refuge with your parents. When both sides are pressing on you, you run to your friends to breathe a little and keep your sanity. Then your spouse complains, “Why are you always with your friends?” and your parents say, “Your spouse has completely taken you captive; you never visit us anymore.”
Trying to find balance, you go back and forth between these three circles. That’s life. These three circles occupy our minds completely. Even when you’re earning a living, who are you really working for? Most of the time not for yourself, but for your spouse, your children or your parents. Among all these relationships, the most selfish and self-interested is time spent with friends, because there is no obligation there; only companionship and complaining about the responsibilities in the other areas of life.
Allah ﷻ began with the most selfish circle (friends), then moved to the strongest bond, there since your birth (parents), and then to the bond formed later in life that brings both joy and responsibility (spouse and children). These three circles occupy our minds completely.
But on that Day, you will have a completely different preoccupation.